Respect. And a whole lot of questions to myself.

Just read a very sudden email/note from one of the coolest guys I met recently. He was in my induction batch - we went through Adventure Learning camp and the Basic Presentation Course training together with a bunch of others.

In the email, he wrote that he was leaving the company to pursue his love for creating visual art and selling them. (It is true that he has a huge talent in design - his namecard says it all.) He had barely been here for 6 months, probably about 3+ months like me.... ... ...and he threw in the towel.

I admire him. For obvious reasons - he's got the guts to pursue his passion. No whining or whinging, just serve it on a candid but brilliantly-written email to everyone on why you're leaving early. 

Although we're from different depts J, but you have deeply inspired me and earned my respect!! I wish I had your guts! I don't know what to do now. If i go through with the 3rd round, do I move on?

Do I have the guts to let these 3 months go and move on? I think god might have traded some of my guts with a worrywart on me somewhere. I think i'm too concerned about the wrong things.

Am i being irresponsible? Am i letting anyone down? Am i letting myself down? Will i be happier in a new place? Will i miss the opportunities this place might bring maybe soon? Will i miss the opportunities the other place might provide? What will people think of me? What will future me think of present me? Why am i making this so difficult?

I keep telling myself to grit my teeth and press on, but that shouldn't be the way (everyday), should it? Or am I being a spoilt Gen Y-er who can't even complete what i started?

Argh. This is why i don't dare to blog anymore but i'm at the point where i think my sanity matters more than what others might think. I know, i should get a diary/livejournal but i'm too lazy. And preoccupied.

Oh well, we'll see what happens again i guess. Every week gets even more exciting. I can't believe it's Christmas already - the year was so different when it started.

When i look back to X'mas 2010, I have got to remember this overwhelming cocktail of emotions tearing me up inside. Who knew things could get so complicated? :S

haha ok i just think this is a really funny pic, altho of no or opposite relevance to this post.